Friday, September 18, 2009


So being out here, i've learned a lot about myself, what I can handle and what I can't. Like I like to stay up late when I don't have to get up early. I plan ahead I always knew that, but I obsess. I hate missing the opening prayer to things. It bothers me. I get things done right when they are handed to me. I miss Brian a lot. I want to get school done fast. I love seeing the gospel change peoples lives. I have stopped biting my nails. Which is a great thing. I read my scriptures in my free time. I miss home a lot. I need the sun. Which I have here so thats a good thing. I put too much pressure on myself to do well, so when I don't do well I get sad, an feel worthless. I need food about every 3 hours or I am grumpy. I don't like it when people tease me. I didn't grow up like that so I don't intend on changing that part about me. It comes off rude to me. I get annoyed really easily when people take things too far. I want to slap people. I like movies no one else likes. I am a serious person and only my best friends no that I have a humorous side. I want to make others better. I want to bring others up.

I am considerate of others. I do things when I'm not told to. I do the things others don't do because they are too lazy. Like picking up trash on the stairs. I hate walking through grass but I will do it to get some place faster. If I died tomorrow I would want my head stone to say "always had it together". Because I do. Everything is always planned out, and most of the time it gets done that way too. I dont put trust in others very easily. I am always let down, so thats why I do a lot of things myself. In my mind if I don't do them, then it wont get done the way I want it to. I swear my wedding planner will be my best friend because I cant handle the stupid crap. I pay attention to everything around me, but I overlook the little things. I watch how people react to things. I alway wonder what people are thinking about in the cafeteria. I've tried making new friends, but no one seems to fit the way people used to.

I am different. I know what I'm good at and I know what I suck at. I have confidence, but I don't boast. I want to be a jack of all trades. I want to know how to do everything. My papa is who I want to be when I'm old. I want to be who he is now. He inspires me. If I nap during the day I wont sleep at night. When bugs don't attack me they are interesting to watch. My fish darwin entertains me frequently, though, he only swims up and down and stares. If someone will listen I can talk for hours. My thoughts arent random. They lead from one thing to another. They make sense. I plan for the future a lot, and I probably always will, because I truly believe that Ghandi's words, " what we do today will be present in our future", is so true. I hate talking about politics. I see both sides, and I hate the bickering. You wont change someone talking about politics. Its dumb. I love the sound of rain.

I don't watch TV, or the news. I'm not ignorant. I get my news from the internet. TV brainwashes you. It's a proven fact. I love my mom she is my best friend. I love getting pedicures. My toes are always painted. I like to feel pretty majority of the time. I like to be outside. I remember random things. But I don't remember facts on history. What I really want to do with my life is simple. Be a wife, and raise my children, travel the world, and help others. I will succeed at that.

There's a lot to me. I'm not complicated, I just know who I am.

No comments:

Post a Comment